Why Occupy Is A Pretty Good Gig

We are Occupy and it’s good to be us and here's why. (Feel free to jump in on the chorus whenever you feel comfortable.) We are Occupy and we love large crowds who chant along with us. If you need a sign or banner to wave, please see the folks in our media tent. So join us because  Occupy is a pretty good gig.

We live rent free, steal city services like electricity and water without being charged and get free food, clothes and supplies from the socially deluded  - Occupy’s a pretty good gig!

We get to voice our opinions without having to be informed or think anything through before we open our mouths. It’s our democratic right to speak without knowing what we’re talking about - Occupy’s a pretty good gig!

We can drink and do drugs without worrying about the police hassling us because we have most city politicians confused about what to do about us.  - Occupy’s a pretty good gig

We can march and smash and burn and chant and intimidate whenever we feel like it and those who support us think we’re doing something noble - Occupy’s a pretty good gig!

(If you’re starting to get the feel of this, feel free to jump in on the chorus whenever you’re ready)

We’ve turned common begging into something more politically correct and socially responsible. We even make a profit at it. - Occupy’s a pretty good gig

We have arts & crafts and music sing-a-longs and family fun days and barbeques (supplies begged from other of course)  - Occupy’s a pretty good gig

We can do whatever we want and nothing bad that happens is ever our fault. We just blame the police or the 1% and lots of people buy into it. - Occupy’s a really good gig

We don’t have to tell the truth when it is inconvenient, we just keep telling each other the same lies and deflect the issue back onto the 1% and everything is all good again  - Occupy’s a pretty good gig

(Don’t be shy, jump in on the chorus)

We don’t have to be responsible for the safety of those who follow us and if they get injured, raped or killed, it’s not our fault. We blame it on the anarchists and outside agitators who are in the next tent   - Occupy’s a pretty good gig

Celebrities love us and we get to meet people like Jesse Jackson and Michael Moore and it doesn’t even matter that Michael is in the 1% because he likes us and that feels really really good. Hypocrisy is irrelevant to w ho we are and that makes us feel even better. -Occupy’s a pretty good gig

We get to tweet all kinds of stuff whenever we feel like it and it doesn’t even matter if its true - Occupy is a pretty good gig

We get to vandalize public and private property and the stupid people who support us even give us cans of spray paint because they believe we have a right to exercise free speech anyway we want. We love them  

- Occupy’s a pretty good gig

We have a plan for the winter, we’re going to Occupy abandoned buildings that belong to others but we don’t have to call it trespassing.  Because we’re Occupy we get to call it legitimate protest and we’re only doing it for the people. The fact that we’ll be living rent free is merely a coincidence -Occupy is a pretty good gig

We get to poop outside whenever we feel like it  - Occupy is a pretty good gig (as long as you remembered where you pooped so you don’t step in it) 

If we want something and nobody will donate it, we just form a mob and take it. We just have to remember always to call it protest - Occupy is a pretty good gig

We don’t have to understand the issues we protest, we just have to be smarter than the people we beg donations from and that isn’t very hard. We’ve had them fooled from the beginning 

-Occupy is a pretty good gig

If we don’t like what someone else says in our meetings we just block them. If we don’t like what someone else says outside our meetings, we flash mob them and shout them down.  We don’t have to respect the rights of others, just our own. - Occuppy is a pretty good gig

We don’t have to shower and take care of ourselves or the property we squat in. - Occupy is a pretty good gig

And best of all, we are the 99%. The 1% is our enemy and the rest of the 99% can go to hell because we are Occupy and…. -Occupy is a pretty good gig.

And there you have it, most of the reasons why it’s good to be Occupy. Why would anyone even consider turning a thoughtful and considered approach to the issues our societies face? It’s so much easier to be us. We just live where we want, contribute nothing, live for free off handouts and ignore and lie about the damage we do and the crime we attract. It’s so much easier than that pesky responsibility thing.

When you think about it, Occupy isn’t just a pretty good gig…..it’s a great gig!

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