Sometimes The Law Is An Ass - We Need To Elect Fewer Lawyers To Government

In Canada, we elect more lawyers to parliament than from any other profession. As a result, we have some of the most illogical laws going. Legislators have created laws to deal with one issue or another without much consideration for how some situations link to others. Too often, they create new laws to replace old ones but forget to take the old ones off the books. In the end, the code of law ends up being a mish mash of the serious and the not so serious. This a short list of those that don’t even qualify as not so serious. They’re just plain incomprehensible.

Prostitution is legal in Canada. Soliciting a prostitute for the purposes of availing yourself of his or her legal services is illegal. Advertising prostitution is not illegal as long as it is referred to as "an escort service"` (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

The possession and sale of heroin is illegal in Canada, opening a site to allow for safe-injection of heroin is legal as is using your illegal heroin in that safe-injection site, according to the Supreme Court. Many cities also provide free needle exchanges for illegal heroin users and convenient drop boxes for used needles while continuing to ban smoking indoors.

The age of sexual consent is 14. The age at which you can obtain a driver’s license is 16. The age at which you can join the military is 18. The age at which you can vote is 18. The age at which you can drink is 19 in some jurisdictions. (Conclusion: drinking requires more maturity than sexual consent, driving, voting and learning to fight in war.)

It is illegal to publicly remove a bandage in public. It is legal for the bandage to fall off accidentally.Coincidentally t is legal in some parts of Canada for women to remove their upper clothing and go topless in public. (Conclusion: the government thinks it is more arousing to watch someone take off a bandage than a bra - some of those guys need to get out more)

All business signs posted in the province of Quebec must have French displayed at no less than twice the size of English or any other language. French must appear above the second language in all signs. Companies are not permitted to use the English form of their name. Joe's Convenience Store must be shown as Depanneur du Joe but Xerox is permitted in both languages.

30% of a radio station’s content must be Canadian. (This means the country is subjected to endless repeats of Neil Young songs, small wonder clinical depression is on the increase nation wide)

It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel and it is illegal to participate in a duel, which is punishable by up to two years in prison (but only if you survive the duel)

It is illegal to allow your horse, mule or llama to graze in a national park, punishable by a $300 fine. (this is to prevent the country from being overrun buy llamas, a growing problem in certain parts of the world apparently)

It is illegal for clear soft drinks to contain caffeine.(they can contain enough sugar to give you diabetes in an afternoon however)

It is illegal to pretend to practise witchcraft but not illegal to be a witch. (much the same straight-ahead thinking that went into  Canadian prostitution laws) Laws against wizards, warlocks and socerers have yet to be considered.

It is legal to smoke. It is legal to buy cigarettes. It is not legal to smoke marijuana or crack. Guess which one has safe, indoor smoking facilities funded in part by the government.

It is illegal to purchase tax-free cigarettes sold legally on native reserves, unless you are a member of one of the first nations living on the reserve. It is legal to purchase everything else, including bead work and moccasins.

It is illegal to pay for any item that costs more than 25 cents with only pennies. (This is never enforced. Instead, many retailers refuse to take $100 bills which are not illegal for any purchase.)


It is illegal to own and operate a casino unless you are a provincial government or an aboriginal enterprise. Online gaming is banned although the government hasn't figured out how to prevent it.

Some of these laws are no longer enforced but they remain on the books with thousands of others that are hopelessly out of date. The law states that ignorance of the law is no excuse for breaking it but when the law itself is ignorant of what era we live in, it becomes impossible for most of us to know what laws we’re actually breaking. 

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