In between decorating the house, running out shopping for Christmas presents with Maggie, wrapping presents, running out to the malls again with Maggie, replacing burned out bulbs on the Christmas lights and...running out to the malls yet again with Maggie, I managed to squeak in some time on Twitter to connect with some of the good folks that keep life interesting.
As usual, there are always a few who stand out for various reasons. Some are quite thoughtful in what they tweet, some are provocative and some are funny. I have a soft spot for anything that makes me laugh, especially after another day at the bloody malls and here are a few of the pre-Christmas tweets that helped me keep my sanity.
aThumper Selah
I read somewhere that thirty-nine is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note... in my room.
joeljeffrey Joel Jeffrey
When I make my first million, Im switching from 2 ply toilet paper to white bread.
juan_incognito Juan Incognito
The last time a woman told me she loved me, the conversation ended with an "I love you too, mom".
GeneralGrevious Space Slug
I just got off the phone with an old college friend.. explaining to him what follow friday is.. There's an hour I'm never getting back.
NoSpankYou Fallen Angel
FYI: When the ex wishes you a Merry Xmas on Fb, apparently "Kiss my ass you piece of shit" isn't exactly an acceptable response. Who knew?
Co_Man_Do Frē Ballingsly
Bob Dylan said it best: Whe a ma he serv th Lor it mae hi lye wor-whi.. Ih don mat-ter bou hi pos-i-shun, it don mat-ter bou his li-sty
SoDopeBoiiFresh SoDopeBoiiFresh
Its normal for one of my balls to hang lower than the other two, right?
luvdesox64 Notorious G.I.N.G.
I'm at my first psychologist appt today. Guy in waiting room wearing a jock strap and a sailor hat. Yup, I'm in the right place.
femin9 Lisa K
When my boyfriend cant decide whether to watch porn or golf I tell him to pick porn cos its not like he doesnt know how to play golf
freevancouver3 freevancouver
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Aspersioncast AspersionCast
You know you're getting old when you have to turn your music down to park your car.
KayHalvy Kay
Just made apple pie from scratch. Next guy who says "easy as pie" gets a punch to the nuts.
AwkwardSexiness Francis Michael
Lets relax with "Remove card quickly". You're not swapping out a golden relic for a bag of sand in the Temple of Doom, you're paying for gas
TheDaveWeinbaum
I was so lonely I got arrested just for the strip search
BrntMoor The_Average_Man
My wife made me a Honey Do List that she expects me to complete before I die. So I guess her Honey Do List is my Bucket List.
It's folks like these that keep me coming back to Twitter....and out of the malls.
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