Some Of Life's Bigger Questions

I suppose we could all agree the single biggest question we ponder is "What is the meaning of life?" Certainly, I haven't got a clue. The only thing I know for sure is that none of us make it through life alive but I have discovered that the journey reveals other, equally as important questions.

Not all of us have the same questions although many of us may share some in common. These are some of the questions I have asked myself over the years but still haven't found an answer for:

If a gay man is only attracted to a transvestite dressed as a woman, does that make him a closet heterosexual?

If the plural of mouse is mice and the plural of louse is lice, why isn't the plural of house, hice?

If men and women are equal shouldn't women have as much responsibility to leave the toilet seat up as they claim men have to leave it down when they're done?

How is it that we have ethical oil but don't have ethical politicians?

Why is it illegal for a fan to throw a piece of fruit on the ice at a hockey game but perfectly acceptable for players to assault and beat the crap out of each other?

If there were high winds, would Canadian Prime Minister Steven Harper's hair move....even a little bit?

If prostitution is legal, why is it illegal to solicit the services of a prostitute?

Why do people who just shouldn't, wear spandex? Don't they have mirrors at home?

If we believe that there are no stupid questions only stupid answers, isn't it counterproductive to ask the questions?

Why do people with nothing to say, talk more than everyone else?

Have you ever wondered whatever possessed the first person to look at a lobster and think "that crawling rock is probably good to eat"?

Wouldn't it make more sense to call the people who invest our money earners rather than brokers - or at least instill a little more confidence in them?

Why does a culture that has rice as its staple food develop chopsticks to eat it with?

Why does my dog Jasper get annoyed if I blow in his face but he loves sticking his head out the window when he's in the car so the wind will blow even harder in his face?

In North America we call good dinnerware china. What do the Chinese call their good dishes?

Why do we pay $1 for a bottle of water when it is almost free and available in unlimited quantity at home?

Why is a word to the wise necessary? If they're wise, don't they already know?

Why does everyone think they're right even when they don't agree with each other?

With pretty much all of the knowledge of the world at our fingertips online, why is society dumbing down rather than getting smarter?

and the one that frightens me the most when I hear it because I know there is no answer that won't get me into trouble....

"Bear, which of these two dresses makes my bum look less fat?" I break out in a cold sweat and just stand there trembling whenver I hear that one.

I'll leave questions on the Space/Time Continuum to Dr. Steven Hawking as I continue to ponder these. I haven't found answers for any of them yet but I am nothing if not committed. Apparently my wife is less sure of that, however. Just the other day she told me I should be committed.

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