Some Of The Itchy Little Things

"When once the itch...comes over a man, nothing can cure it but the scratching of a pen. But f you have not a pen, then I suppose you must scratch anyway you can." -Samuel Lover

So far, I've written about the Ontario Election, climate change, technology, politically correct language and stupidity. Those rank at the top of the list of things that make my skin itch but there are other things that make me want to scratch too. They just aren't big enough to deserve an entire post of their own. (maybe they'll get their own post when they grow up)

For example:

I like to cook and I am always on the lookout for new gadgets for the kitchen. The other day I purchased a new knife sharpener. It looked great in the store, black and chrome encased in hard transparent plastic packaging on a red cardboard background. It literally called my name as I walked by. When I got it home, it took ten minutes, a pair of shears and a knife that was waiting to be sharpened, to get the hard transparent plastic packaging away from the red cardboard background in order to set the knife sharpener free. Have you noticed how many products there are that come packaged like this and how bloody difficult they are to open? This was a $30 knife sharpener not something that demanded high security and tamper-proof packaging.

CD's are a perfect example. I can never get the shrink wrap off the damn things without tools. Do CD's have freshness issues that require vacuum sealing? You shouldn't have to put the bloody thing in a vice, put on safety goggles and a hard hat just to get them unwrapped.

Then there is the text on the back of the packaging. How much smaller can it get? I already can't read half the words on most packages without an electron microscope. It frustrates the hell out me although I tend to be a little more forgiving of manufacturers on this one. I blame government and all the the stuff they require put on packaging in both official languages. By the time you get instructions, contact information, safety disclaimers, government requirements and safety warnings on the label, it's small wonder you can read anything at all.

It has never occurred to government that if you keep adding stuff to what manufacturers are required to put on their labels, eventually they run out of room and the text will be so small that nobody will bother reading the safety warnings they ordered. Of course, government will eventually realize it and demand that manufacturers use larger type which will lead to larger packaging which will lead to more waste in our landfills and that sort of defeats their environmental strategy, doesn't it? (You almost feel sorry for government. The more they try to fix things for us, the more things they have to fix. It must be Hell going to work every day.)

The Canadian Federal Government has just announced that it will require cigarette manufacturers to increase the illustrations of the effects of smoking to cover 75% of packaging. Illustrations are good, especially for the illiterate and the intellectually lazy. They don't require text and are easier to read, especially big illustrations but what is the point of this politically correct (and safe) stupidity? (other than giving the appearance of doing something proactive when you aren't really prepared to do anything constructive at all) Government has already required that stores hide cigarette packages from the viewing public. They're sold now like condoms used to be sold, under the counter.(and wasn't that effective at stamping out sex) So, if you can't see the effects of smoking before you buy the product, isn't it a little late in the day once the consumer has purchased the product and lit up? If you really want to eradicate smoking, declare tobacco illegal, ban it and stop collecting tax money from it although banning marijuana hasn't been a very effective government policy. Maybe what government should do in its war on drugs is impose ridiculous packaging regulations on illegal drugs before they can be sold.

And then there is Ikea, Sweden's answer to purgatory.

North America's largest Ikea Opens Dec 7 in Ottawa
(photo Ottawa Citizen)

They're building the largest Ikea in North America here in the big city and I happen to drive by it the other day. It's big, really, really big and my first thought was that if it was difficult to get out of the smaller Ikea we used to have, it will be impossible to find your way out of this one.

Then I got thinking of the government's new omnibus crime bill with its imposition of mandatory prison sentences which some think will drive up the cost of operating and marinating prisons. But I have a plan (See? I'm always thinking.) Don't send convicted felons to prison, send them to Ikea.

They'll be in there for years wandering around trying to figure out how to get out. You won't even need guards unless they make it past the ball play room and best of all, you could teach them a trade like how to assemble large home and office furniture with a tool the size of a Q-Tip. I believe that one of the reasons that Scandinavians are fair skinned and blond is because of Ikea. They spend so much time trying to get out of the store, they don't get enough sun.

Finally (Settle down, this isn't my last rant, I'm just getting ready to head off to bed. All this thinking has worn me out)  why are grocery stores trying to impersonate department stores and department stores trying to impersonate grocers? Everywhere you go now, everyone has a little of everything but never enough selection of anything because they no longer have room on their shelves for all the brands they used to carry. Even Canadian Tire, that great Canadian icon (and the last place guys could go to get their testosterone rejeuvenated) has expanded from automotive and hardware to include housewares and now, in some stores....food. Say what? I don't go to Canadian Tire to buy eggs. I go there to get spark plugs. How long will it be before Fredrick's Of Hollywood carries power tools? (I know, I know, they already do carry a couple but I was referring to Black and Decker type stuff)

All that this product expansion has done is undermine brand uniqueness and reduce real choice for the consumer. I can never find what I want anymore because it isn't available...no room on the shelf. Now, instead of going to a couple of stores on Saturday morning to pick up groceries and some hardware or household products, I have to go to a half a dozen stores to try and find the brand product my old store no longer has room to carry. (It works on the same principle as cable and satelite tv. The more channels we subscribe to, the less choice we actually have....but I digress)

That's real convenience isn't it?

Iincreasingly it's almost like our retail industry is run by government bureaucrats but then, isn't that the Canadian way? I am Canadian and I like being a Canadian but sometimes, it seems like everything is run by government, if not by policy...definitely by attitude. If you read my earlier post called Get On The Bus, you'll understand what I mean when I say that I think we're going to need a bigger bus.

© 2011 Maggie's Bear
all rights reserved

The content of this article is the sole property of Maggie's Bear but a link to it may be shared by those who think it may be of interest to others

Schyzophrenic Language

I'm tired of writing about the Ontario Provincial Election (I'm actually tired of thinking about it if you want to know the whole truth). I need a break from it so I'm not going to write about it until after the leader's debates. Instead, I'm going to write about Jasper.

I've mentioned my dog Jasper more than once in this blog and if you have read my previous posts, you will know by now that Jasper is an 8-year old Springer Spaniel with way more energy than I have and more than a modicum of common sense. He doesn't speak much having a limited vocabulary that is comprised of a few barks, growls and the occasional woof but despite the minimalist language, he can communicate quite effectively, especially with his eyes.

Jasper has very expressive eyes. They can alternately be sad, excited, happy, exasperated (usually with me but never with Maggie), bored, interested, annoyed and amazed that I really can be that stupid at times. He also uses his tail for some communication although there isn't much to his tail so he often has to include most of his hind end to get the point across. Sometimes his back end is moving so vigorously, it really does look like the tail is wagging the dog.

I know way too many people that could take a lesson from Jasper.

With only a couple of exceptions, I'm not interested in having them try to communicate with my by wiggling their hind end but it would be nice if they learned to verbally communicate more precisely. Too many people use far too much language to express simple concepts, sometimes to the point where the meaning of what they are trying to say is completely lost.

It starts with stupid phrases like "we'll wait to see how it all plays out" instead of "let's see what happens". The same message that can be delivered with four words, stretched to be delivered with eight. One of my favourites used to be in the U.S. Army Quartermaster's catalogue. If you were looking for a zipper for something, you didn't look under "Z", you looked under "I" for "Interlocking Slide Fastener". Three words to say what can be said in one.

We misuse words as well. We too often use impact when we really mean affect, use concept to replace idea and prioritize instead of setting priorities. The internet and text messaging are spawning a whole new form of languge that is about one step above cave drawings. BBW for big bold woman, LOL for laugh out loud and Gr8 for great. How about ROFLMAO. That means "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off". Here's a message I received once. "C U Tx." It was internet/text speak for "See you, thanks" but I thought it translated to "See you in Texas" and I really didn't want to go to Texas.

I sometimes play games online and most of the sites have chat capability. I've tried following the chat but can't figure out what most people are saying. What does, "np gor1" mean? It meant, "Nice play, Gorgon 1" which was the online identity of one of the players. I thought the sender had leaned on his/her keyboard by mistake and a bunch of random characters had been sent.

Maybe I'm just getting to old to keep up, I know the daughters think that's all it is but I'm not so sure. A lot of effort went into creating language, all languages and this looks less evolutionary than like erosion.

In Canada, the French have become almost fanatical about trying to protect their language and culture while we English folk are busy trying to change ours. The problem is that we're schyzophrenic about it. We can't decide whether we want to devolve the language down to a series of symbols and combine letters and numbers to make words or evolve it into something so grandiose nobody knows what in the Hell you're talking about.

I do believe language is organic and that it should evolve and grow but in a logical manner. English is a language that evolved from French, Saxon, Latin and a bunch of smaller languages along the way. I don't expect the English language, or any language for that matter to simply get frozen and never change. God knows that there is nothing pure about the English language but it has its beautiful moments. Simplifying language can be a good thing but don't devolve it back down to grunts and symbols. We already tried that and have moved on.

It's kind of a shame to see language being eroded by the politically correct, those too lazy to spell out an entire sentence and those who's despite all the words they know and use don't have a functional vocabulary any broader than Jasper's.

Service Me, please?.

The other day, Maggie and I stopped at one of our local grocery stores to pick up a couple of items on the way home from work. It took only a couple of minutes to get the items and almost 30 minutes to pay for them. The line-ups at the three open cashes were so long, they flowed back into the grocery aisles and interfered with people still shopping. The wait was more than 20 minutes. How can store management not see that? Or if they see it, how can they not recognize that they are inconveniencing their customers, the very people they rely on to stay in business.

It's a situation that isn't unique to this particular store. Everywhere we go now, the concept of customer service is degrading. Retailers and businesses talk about customer service all the time. Even the government talks about it but that's all it is. Talk! Either they don't understand what customers want in the way of service or they understand but don't know how to deliver it. Perhaps it's that they try to save money by hiring fewer people or perhaps it's  because they just don't care. Whatever it is, I'm fed up with it and I'm not alone.

I'm fed up with standing in line because there are too few cashes open even though there are plenty of cashiers standing around talking to each other on the sidelines or sitting outside, smoking, at a picnic table near the entrance. I'm fed up with asking for assistance in an aisle only to have the store staff member look at me like I'm an idiot.

I'm fed up with paying for the bags I need to carry the stuff I just bought from them and I am definitely fed up with being asked for my postal code, my email address or my phone number. I'm not in the store to get connected, I came to make a purchase. Stop wasting everyone's time asking for contact information, swiping rewards cards and pointing out additional specials we can consider buying. Just ring up the purchases, take the money and put what I've bought in a "free" bag". Is that really asking for too much?

Sticking a greeter at the front of the store to shout "Welcome to......" doesn't cut it either. I'm not here to make friends and your welcome doesn't mean anything if we're going to be treated like a herd of cattle lining up for the evening milking once we get inside. Use the greeter to open another cash and get the bloody line moving.

I'm also tired of having stores assume I am going to rob them blind when I drop by. I appreciate that shoplifting is a serious problem for retailers but it is pretty well established that most of that shoplifting is done by store employees. Why don't you try higher levels of pay to attract better employees and training programs that go beyond how to scan the price of an item and process payment? Why don't you put security in place to monitor your staff instead of installing anti-theft devices that trigger alarms that go off even though I've paid for the stuff? Is it really necessary to make entrance and exits to the store difficult and convoluted? It's not like everyone has to be like Ikea (Ikea's entrance and exit strategy borders on pyschopathic, doesn't it? You need to pack a lunch just so you won't starve in the time it takes to get out of the store...and that's if you didn't even buy anything.).

But poor service isn't just the province of retailers, it's everywhere. I am tired of being called guy at restaurants, as in, "Hi guys, welcome to...." Whoever came up with the idea that this was somehow an appropriate form of greeting for a waiter or waitress to use obviously suffered from a limited vocabulary and poor social skills. Forget trying to come across as a friend and try acting like an efficient server. Bring my drinks in a timely manner and please get the drink order right. When I ask for a rye and coke with a slice of lemon, I don't mean rum and diet coke with a chunk of lime or orange.  I'm tired of lukewarm food, undercooked meat and over-cooked vegetables on fancy plates with servings that are so small even Jasper would be discouraged.

But the best at it are the banks. These guys combine the best of the worst practices of government and retail together. It is unbelievable! I was at a bank not so long ago and the line up stretched from the counter right out into the mall. There were only two tellers open but no less than 8 people standing around behind the counter. In exasperation, an older gentleman standing in front of me finally yelled out, "You, young lady. Get up here and bring your friends." It worked, the head teller suddenly became aware that there was this big long line up of "customers" and opened three more teller stations. Why should we have to create a ruckus (although I'm happy to do that if called upon) just to get a level of respectful service? That's our money in your bank. You're not doing us any favours by giving it back to us when we show up, so stop treating us like you are!

I used to enjoy shopping but I am frustrated by it now. Everything is slower, my time is wasted by businesses who seem blissfully unaware that they actually rely on me and others like me to keep them in business. The real tragedy is that there are few alternatives. Poor service is becoming a Canadian epidemic (or tradition) across almost all lines of business. Small wonder more and more people prefer to buy online or make the trek to northern U.S. cities to do their shopping. (Say what you want about American business, they get the concept of service. I have never seen the lineups in their major department stores that I see in ours even when their stores seem to be busier than ours.)

In the final analysis, I'm not sure which annoys me more; bad service or paying for bad service. Perhaps it's time to impose a customer rating system that is tied into what we pay at the cash. We'll knock 10% off the price of what we're buying for every 5 minutes we have to wait to get served. If that doesn't get their attention and affect some change in service levels, we'll at least be paid for the inconvience that poor customer service imposes on us. There is no point in boycotting a particular store and going somewhere else, they're pretty much all the same. Besides as the saying goes, Money Talks, Boycotts Walk...and as we have already estabished, I don't walk. I lumber along.

Updataing to Upgrade

I still remember the first real computer I bought. It was an IBM clone with two 5 1/4 paper disks; one to power the thing and the other on which to save data. I thought I had died and gone to heaven even though I couldn't do much with it. It had less than 1MB of total memory and all of that memory was on paper floppy disks (for those of you born not so long ago, the original floppy disks were actually flimsy things encased in paper which is why they were called floppy disks) I learned to use it for simple word processing and spread sheets but other than that, it was pretty much a big desk ornament.

Then along came MacIntosh. Suddenly the world was all a twitter about this thing called a mouse and a completely different way of using computers. Microsoft soon followed suit with Windows 3.1 followed by the Internet explosion and finally Web 2.0 which changed my life forever but not necessarily for the better.

Ever since, I have been "updated" more often than I can remember. Every piece of software I have or had (including some I wasn't aware were even installed on my computer) seem to be constantly demanding to be updated. Windows is out there searching for more updates on my behalf constantly although I wish it would just focus on working more efficiently on my computer. It doesn't matter what it is, as soon as I install the latest version of something, the first thing it demands from me is to log into the mother site to be updated.

I can almost understand creating a new version of an existing software and improving it with some new functionality but do we really need to be updating the stuff we already have every other month? Do the people who make this stuff not have other things to do besides tinker with what they have already produced or are we updating because they forgot to put stuff in originally? It's like buying a vacum cleaner only to have the folks from Hoover banging on your door constantly demanding to install a new widget or gasket into the thing.

But my computer is an entirely different circumstance. Adobe Reader is constantly demanding that I click on the update button for the latest whatever but I'll be damned if I can see anything different in it once I have updated and use the software. I have downloaded Service Packs for every version of Windows that I've owned since Windows 98 although I'm damned if I know why or how it made my software better. I am regularly receiving notifications that updates are ready to be installed on my computer but have no clue what those updates are, not that I would understand the need for them even if I could identify them. (I've also noticed that when Microsoft runs out of additional service packs for an existing version of Windows, it usually means that there is a new version of Windows coming and the one you have been updating will soon be obsolete and no longer supported.) It's the same with just about everything on my computer, a constant series of demands to update from different pieces of software  like children screaming for candy.

I think it has less to do with the need to update software than it does with educating us to do what we're told. Maybe that's too paranoid, I was never much for conspiracy theories but it is odd that we are constantly being told to move from version 1.0 to 1.1 then 1.1a. The changes in these updates are often so insignificant you have to wonder why someone was paid to make them in the first place.

I can understand the need to constantly update your anti-virus software; there's a whole lot of people out there working overtime to try and infect your computer and we need to download the latest virus definitions to protect ourselves. But really, do we need to be updating everything else on a monthly basis? I don't think so. In fact, I don't think we need to keep "enhancing" computers at all. My computer already functions faster than I can think. How much faster does it have to be? I'm sure it must be getting tired of waiting for me to catch up all the time.

It gets better, of course, because not only are you being constantly reminded to update, increasingly you are being invited to upgrade. Upgrades are different from updates. Upgrades are a new version of your updated software and usually add functionality to your existing softare or take your existing software or hardware to the next level. Updates can't do that (which begs the question, why do I need all these bloody updates?) You can putter along successfully ignoring most of the updates but at some point, if you don't upgrade, your system becomes obsolete and you get culled from the herd and left behind.

After a period of time, the manufacturer stops supporting earlier versions of whatever they manufactured. Older software, including your browser, becomes no longer compatible with the newer versions of whatever it is. Your hardware slows down as it becomes overwhelmed by the demands made on it by the newer, bigger, more robust software until finally you are left with no choice but to cough up more money to buy what you essentially already have just so you can keep doing what you are already doing.

Again, I can understand the need for some people to upgrade. They want to play bigger, more memory-intensive games or power other software that increased functionality but why do the rest of us have to get dragged along just to keep writing and doing spread sheets. I now have a laptop computer that combined with the software on it, is more powerful than the mainframe computers used for the Apollo moon missions in the 60's. I don't need that much power. In fact, I don't need anything even close to that much power. I'm not running a space program (although I'm sure I'd be good at it) and I have no intention of assisting with the manned exploration of Mars (unless I'm asked, of course). I need enough power to write and to do spreadsheets, send the odd email and sometimes play a non graphic-intensive game.

It's called planned obsolesence and the simple truth is that the death of the computer I am using right now and all its software is already pre-ordained. Eventuallly the software I've updated will need to be upgraded to begin a new series of updates and the hardware will have to be replaced to be able to power the new software. They're are programming gangs all over the world already working on it.

 It will never end. God! I miss my typewriter.

(Unbelievable! I just ran spellcheck and it didn't find one spelling error. Perhaps I should have updated it before I ran it.)

© 2011 Maggie's Bear
all rights reserved

Get On The Bus and I Ain't Talking Rapid Transit!

"Think of how stupid the average person is and realize that half of them are stupider than that."  -- George Carlin

Let's talk about stupidity. Nothing gets me more wound up than stupid people doing stupid things. Now, don't be looking at me like I'm intolerant and being unkind. The truth is that many of us have encountered stupidity (some of us have even engaged in stupidity) and we almost all react the same way to it. It annoys the hell out of us.

For me, stupidity has nothing to do with educational level or intellectual ability. In fact, some of the stupidest people I know have MBAs (the degree of choice among the would-be elite) while some of the smartest people I know barely have a secondary school education. Stupidity is a lack of common sense and not being able to think. God help us! There are just so many folks out there who just don't stop and think before they open their mouths or do something.

I came up to a red light at an intersection the other day and the guy in the car beside me had his index finger buried up his nose to the second knuckle. He was really into it, wiggling that finger around like he was digging for precious metals. I don't have an issue with him picking his nose, most of us have done that at some point or other (and more than a few of us have even enjoyed it). My issue is that most of us are discreet and only pick our noses when there is nobody around. This guy was sitting there in his car digging for gold like no one could see him and I wanted to roll down my window and tell him that he was sitting behind two-way, not one-way glass.

Nowhere, however, is stupidity more prevalent than in the public sector which seems to have elevated stupidity, if not to an art form, at least to official policy. Human Rights Commissions are hotbeds of stupidity, guided more by political correctness than by common sense. Even law enforcement can function at times like it has its collective head up its collective butt.

Take the case of David Chen earlier this year.

Toronto grocer, David Chen

Mr. Chen is a Chinese green grocer in Toronto. By all accounts, he is an honest, hard-working husband and father who's business was preyed on by the same thief more than once. The police were either unable or unwilling to do much about it so, when the thief showed up for the second time on the same day, Mr. Chen gave chase, tackled and tied the thief up and then called the police. Now, in a society where common sense prevails, Mr. Chen would have been congratulated for his action or at the very least, he would have been thanked for it. But this is Canada and Mr. Chen was subsequently arrested and charged with kidnapping. The primary witness against him? You guessed it, the thief. The prosecution made a deal to drop the shoplifting charge against the shoplifter if he would testify against Mr. Chen on the kidnapping charge. Fortunately, the court applied common sense to the situation and Mr. Chen was exonerated and released. Unfortunately, both the police officers and the prosecutor involved in this case are still working.

There are so many examples of official stupidity that it would take dozens of blogs with thousands of posts to document even a small percentage of them. There was the auditor from Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) who told me once that it was his job to serve Canadians but when I asked him for specific information he advised me that he wouldn't provide the answer because CRA doesn't serve individual Canadians. Say what?

How do you rationalize that double-speak in your head?

Sometimes stupidity is just stupidity. It is thoughtless, sometimes dangerous behaviour that betrays a complete lack of common sense or life-skill. But that isn't always the case, especially in government. Sometimes stupidity is an attempt to hide, cover up or just plain avoid some error in judgement or violation of practice. Sometimes officialdom will engage in stupid actions because they just can't bring themselves to admit they were wrong.

DND taxi

Take the latest issue with Peter Mckay, the Canadian Defense Minister. It has been alleged that Mr. McKay misused a government search and rescue helicopter for personal benefit. When it was exposed, rather than stepping up and admitting it, Pete decided to try and hide behind a stupid explanation that made no sense to anyone. He wasn't picked up from a fishing vacation and flown to another event on a government helicopter. He was engaging in a review of search and rescue techniques in between his vacation and the next event. Nobody buys that of course, it's just plain stupid and that's the problem with this kind of stupidity. It just makes a difficult situation worse. What annoys me is that the explanation is based on the assumption that the rest of us are as stupid as the person or people spinning the tale.

We're in pretty bad shape when a sitting cabinet minister is so bereft of character and dignity that he has to spin a story this stupid to try and cover up his actions. If that's the best Peter McKay and his staff can come up with for something like this, you shudder to think how effective a job they can do on the big issues.

Contrast Mr. Mckay's actions and those of the brain trust in his office with that of the CEO of Maple Leaf Foods when the listeryosis crisis hit their company. Some of Maple Leaf's food products became contaminated resulting in the tragic deaths of a number of people. How did he handle this? He stepped up. He pulled  all Maple Leaf Products from store shelves. He held a news conference to advise people of what happened and took responsibility for it. He held subsequent news conferences to keep the public updated, cooperated fully with food inspection agencies and paid compensation to the families of victims. The result? Maple Leaf is once again a viable and successful meat products manufacturer and the brand is trusted because of the simple honesty of its CEO.

That too is something I dislike about official stupidity. It's just flat out dishonest.

We're going to need a bunch of these

I have a plan though. I am taking up a collection to buy a bus, one of those big tour buses with the dark tinted windows and super graphics on the side. I'm going to hire a bus driver and park it in front of Parliament Hill. Every time I encounter a stupid person doing stupid things, I'm going to tell them to "get on the bus". When the bus is full, we'll have it driven far and away, way up north and the stupid people will be told to get off the bus and left there. When the empty bus returns, we'll start all over again until we "get 'er done." Of course, it's going to take a few trips to clean out the stupider politicians and government bureaucrats before we can get to the every day stupid people but it's like cleaning the garage. No matter how long it takes, it ain't going to get done unless you get started.

The next time you encounter a stupid person doing or saying something stupid, feel free to tell them to "Get on the bus!"

© 2011 Maggie's Bear
all rights reserved

Separation Anxiety

Not so long ago, my wife Maggie and I were at one of the larger shopping malls looking for a birthday present for our grandson. She was determined to buy him some books and clothes while I was pretty much focused on toys, especially anything Thomas The Train. The fact that he is only two didn't deter me. I believe that great toys are like clothes that are a little to big, your grandson will grow into them and while we're waiting for that to happen, your can play with his toys. I already have my own Play Doh and am getting quite good at making things with it.

Walking through the Food  Court, I noticed four young teenage girls sitting at a table and my first thought was how nice it was to see some younger folk out and about together. It reminded me of my daughter and her friends when she was that age. But then I noticed that while they were all busy communicating, it wasn't with with each other. They were alternately texting other people, checking messages or just talking on their cell phones. Here they were out with friends but so intense is the fear that they might be missing something somewhere else, they were constantly checking to make sure they weren't. It isn't a phenomenon that is peculiar to young people.

You see it everywhere. People are constantly texting, tweeting, checking email and talking on their cell phones. I appreciate that a few of those people hold significant and important jobs and need to be in touch 24/7 but really. How many of us need to be in constant touch? My wife is a senior executive with the federal government and has an Ipad, a cell phone and a laptop. The expectation by her employer is that she will constantly check her email, even on Sunday evening in the off-chance something important has been sent. Screw that! Work/life balance is an essential part of a healthy life. Productivity, let alone health, deteriorate when your work becomes more important than your broader life, especially your family.

This is even more true with social networking sites which many can't wait until after work to check. They constantly log in during the day to see if someone...anyone...has left them a message. The truth is that social networking has become an addiction in the same way that gambling, drinking and drugs are addictions. Don't believe me? Turn off your cell phone and try to get through the day without feeling a growing sense of anxiety because you haven't checked your email or your Twitter account or your voice mail or your text messages. Don't log into Facebook or Linkedin or MySpace or one of the countless dating sites that you belong to. Let it go. The answer to what it all means to you lies not in whether or not you can get through the weekend or just a day without logging in but how not checking makes you feel.

If you hardly think about it, congratulations. You aren't addicted...yet, but if you feel anxious for not knowing if you have mail or messages; if you find yourself distracted by thoughts of what you might be missing or just have an overwhelming itch to eat a lot of chocolate chip cookies. Uh oh! You're an addict baby and it's time for some serious reconsideration of how you're living.

It starts with understanding that the operators of all this technology didn't provide these services out of any sense of altruism or because they like you and they definitely don't promote the use of their products and sites to enhance your life. They did it to make money. I have no issue with that and I don't have an issue with the existence of the technology. What I take issue with is how we are over-dosing on it. Online is not the real world. Texting someone is not the same as being with them and talking face-to-face and interrupting what you are doing with someone to take calls or reply to messages on your cell betrays a significant level of separation anxiety and is just plainn rude. When you are constantly interrupting your real life, who you are with and what you're doing, it is an indication of how the unknown has overwhelmed what you are actually doing at that moment.

I've lost track of the number of times I have been with someone who interrupted our meeting to answer their cell phone only to tell the caller that they couldn't talk right now and would call them back. Let the damn thing ring and go to voice mail. Better yet, turn it off when you're involved in something with someone. (I doubt you would jump out of bed if you were having sex, so why answer it when you are doing something else with someone?) That's what voice mail is for, it allows people to leave a message to which you can respond when you have time. We used to understand that ten years ago. We'd go to work, come home and find a couple of messages on the home phone. We'd note them and respond to them when it was convenient. Now, we're checking constantly and that is nothing more than anxiety at being separated from whatever may be happening.

Too many people find validation in being "connected" even though it is often unnecessary communication. They hide from whatever is lacking in their lives and bolster their sense of self-importance by constantly texting and emailing and going online. It is an artificial life. There is a place for electronic communication but when it takes control of your life rather than simply being a tool to be used as needed, then you have become its servant. Few of us are so important that we need to be in constant touch but too many of us feel insecure and insignificant when we aren't.

It may sound like my life is pretty small and I don't understand how important staying connected really is but I was a senior executive before I retired and I did need to be available.  I had a mobile phone, a pager and a laptop that went everywhere I went. My email traffic was ridiculously high (more than 70% of which was simply copies of emails sent to someone else by someone else). I was in constant touch, going so far to conduct conference calls on my cell phone while driving between cities.

But then I had an epiphany. Much of the communication and checking I was doing was unnecessary and was wasting myself. I weaned myself off social networking sites, closed my Twitter account and threw away my pager. I traded my Blackberry for a simple mobile phone which I use mostly to call upstairs to Maggie's office to let her know I have arrived downstairs to pick her up. It was liberating and the amount of time I savd was unbelievable. I became more, not less, productive. I accomplished more but also had more time for me.

I've continued this approach to technology into semi-retirement.  I'm no less informed than I was before but now I don't have to wade through mountains of extraneous nonsense to get to what I'm interested in or need to know. I don't feel anxious any more and no longer feel like I'm missing something. The truth is that I don't care what I might be missing. I've missed lots in my life and except for the odd dressing down from my sister for missing her birthday, it hasn't made much of difference.

I refuse to be part of the Web 2.0 generation. I don't need it. I talk to my daughters regularly, get to hold my wife every night when we go to bed and when I need or want to see or talk to someone, well...I just do it. Usually in person, sometimes by phone and occasionally by email. For me, email is simply letter writing sent by something a tad more efficient than Canada Post.

As for feeling separation anxiety, that's pretty much gone. I have come to understand that old adage of "the more things change, the more they stay the same" is true. If I missed something important today, it will come around again tomorrow or the next day and when it gets here, I'll deal with it. What I don't do anymore is constantly check to see if it has arrived. Jasper and I are too busy dealing with more important issues like trying to teach him how to fetch.

I throw the ball and he watches it bounce across the yard, looks up at me and says with his eyes, "You threw it, you go get it." He never seems to feel anxious about being separated from the ball. There are more than just a few who could take that lesson from Jasper.

© 2011 Maggie's Bear
all rights reserved

Language I Won't Be Using Here

I love words. They're a passion of mine and I admire the great writers who use words like a painter uses colour. Leonard Cohen and Harper Lee are two of those writers. Margaret Atwood is another. They're understanding of the value of a single word is incredible. It's almost embarrassing that we could take a language that gave us Shakespeare and T.S.Elliott along with so many others...and demean it until it is virtually meaningless.

It's the result of the best efforts of the politically correct and somewhere along the way, the rest of us allowed ourselves to be conned into accepting that it is words, not intentions, that are harmful. Change the words and the offence or the pain of the issue is gone. The fact that the intention behind the words might still be there becomes irrelevant because the new language...the politically correct language....so sanitizes the meaning that we become willingly blind to it.

Afro-Canadians used to be called Negros. It was a simple, precise term that had no meaning other than to define race in the same way that Caucasian defines my race and Oriental defined those we now call Asian.  Negro fell out of favour because the politically correct thought it was too close to "nigger", a word that had an ugly intention behind it most of the time (but not always, it is commonly used by many Negros, including comedians, athletes and entertainers.) In the 60's, negro was replaced with "black" but after a decade and a half, black was determined to be too associated with evil so the politically correct came up with Afro-(insert country of choice). This took the simple word, negro, and replaced it with two words and a hyphen as if that somehow would eliminate racism. How stupid can you be? Skin colour is about as relevant to a person's value as hair colour. Fretting over a word like negro is like getting upset and feeling the need to change the word blond so that those with fair hair will no longer be the brunt of jokes about their intellect. Ain't going to work folks!

Consider someone with European heritage, should we do as we now do with Afro-Canadian and refer to them as Euro-Canadians? What about my grandson? His heritage is Canadian. Do we refer to him as Canadian-Canadian or North American Canadian. The issue here is that the word negro simply defines a race. It attaches no value to that definition. The value  behind the word or phrase, positive or negative, comes from the intention behind it because racism has nothing to do with the word and everything to do with the character of people using it. You can be just as intolerant and racist of an Afro-Canadian as you ever could a negro. If the intention is to overcome and defeat intolerance, changing words isn't going to accomplish it. To overcome intolerance, you have to overcome prejudice and fear. Changing words does nothing to address them.

Not only does politically correct language not solve racism, it resolves no issue. It is an illusion that tends to obscure rather than clarify. Too often it is used to remove the humanity from the issue as in referring to people at work as "human resources",  The term dehumanizes them and turns them into a commodity making it  easier to fire and lay them off or as the politically correct put it, "curtail redundancies in the human resources area". Employees are no longer people, they're just another corporate resource.

I hate the smug attitude behind politically correct language. I hate the fact that it is more about appearing to do the right thing and dealing with serious social issues than it is about actually rolling up your sleeves and getting it done.

I also hate stupid language and God knows there is a lot of that around.

I am not interested in "sharing quality time" with anyone nor do I want to "bond", "connect" or "interface". I won't use "economically disadvantaged" when I mean poor nor will I refer to being broke as being in a "negative cash-flow position". I won't refer to a homely person as having a "severe appearance deficit" nor will I refer to someone who is bald as being "too tall for their hair." I don't consider declining birth rates to be a "national fertility deficit" and I'm not interested in giving someone 'a little space." If you need space, back off.

Blind people are not "visually impaired" as far as I'm concerned and the handicapped are not "physically challenged." There is nothing wrong with the word blind and no stigma attached to the word handicapped. I happen to believe that there is something admirable about overcoming a handicap to accomplish things in your life like learning how to paint when you have no arms. That is a major handicap to painting and yet, there are those who have accomplished it. Politically correct language obscures that accomplishment and demeans it to the point of meaning almost nothing.

It is what it is but increasingly we seem to be afraid to acknowledge "it", whatever it is. We invent soft language to obscure and hide meaning, sometimes to the point where we just don't have to deal with it anymore. Personally, I think there is something hypocritical about using politically correct language to hide from the mean and sometimes evil intentions of some while at the same time using vulgar and often vicious language to attack those with whom we disagree.

It's time to stop deluding ourselves. Language was developed so that we could communicate with each other. Too many today use it to hurt, to attack or to obscure meaning. People died to provide democracies with free speech and it seems a terrible thing to treat it so poorly.

© 2011 Maggie's Bear
all rights reserved

George Carlin & The Bear On Saving The Planet

"It's not easy being green." - Kermit the frog

George Carlin on the arrogance behind

the "Save The Planet" movement

Back in the mid 90's, scientists were predicting an impending ice age. I didn't take it too seriously because they weren't overly specific about when it was going to happen and I have a really good winter coat. They predicted glaciers would reemerge and cover key parts of the continental land mass. Now, I don't know a lot about glaciers but I do know they move really slowly and I am pretty sure that even I can outrun (ok, ok...I don't actually run but I'm pretty confident that I can lumber along faster than a glacier), so I wasn't overly concerned. I pretty much set my mind to accepting that it was going to get cooler which suited me fine because hot weather is very unpleasant for a guy built like a bear.

A decade later, many of  the same scientists decided that it wasn't an ice age that was coming after all. It was global warming. The earth was heating up and soon, arable farm land would dry up, crops would wither and we would see famine, disease and war (although unfortunately we don't seem to need global warming to find reasons to kill each other). Melting glaciers (remember the glaciers from the impending ice age?) would cause sea levels to rise overrunning coastal cities and temperatures would soar. Polar bears would die and the four horseman of the apocalypse would appear on downtown streets around the world.

I was more concerned about this because I don't handle hot weather as well as I do cold weather. I wasn't buying the apocalyptic, famine scenario but I hate really hot weather and don't like wearing shorts (even though I look quite dashing in them). I wasn't really looking forward to the discomfort of it all but I did content myself with the idea that even though I live in central Canada, there was a distinct possibility of eventually having waterfront property without having to move. If the scientists were right and rising temperatures caused so much northern snow and ice to melt that the oceans rose dramatically, I would soon be fishing the surf from my back deck.

Of course, the scientists got it wrong......again.

Something is happening, they're convinced of that but are no longer exactly sure what it is so they decided to call it climate change. This  is the typical activist response to a problem. When you don't have a clue what's going on (if anything at all), rename it! It allows you to continue to fret and whine about the issue without actually doing anything to fix it and best of all, you can still keep applying for more government (read taxpayer) research grants and financial contributions to your organization.

This new development suited environmentalists just fine because it took away the need to be precise when predicting the impending disaster. Now environmentalists could promote the threat to the world without having to actually define the exact nature of that threat. It's perfect; an opportunity to vent while feeling socially relevant without actually having to fully explain why. But  here's the question, is this ethical?

According to David Suzuki and Al Gore, it is but then they've made a lot of money promoting the ill effects of the undefined climate change and I'm always suspicious of those who find financial gain by promoting fear and the Save The Planet is nothing if not full of fear mongoring. 

The fact is that the earth's average temperature today is about 4 degrees less than it was in the middle ages. We're a little warmer than we were in the last century but a hell of a lot cooler than we were a few hundred years ago. It seems that environmentalists have a shorter view of history or it escaped their notice that the world didn't end and humanity didn't disappear when it was warmer way back then.

Environmentalists believe the world is on the expressway to Hell and it has given them a sense of purpose that elevates them from the monotony of their daily lives. It doesn't matter to them that that the number one cause of greenhouse gas emissions is water vapour. Pollution is the root cause of all our problems and corporations are responsible! We must act swiftly to save ourselves...from ourselves. It doesn't matter to them that carbon is a natural product nor does it matter to them that global temperatures today are still much cooler than they were centuries before we had any real pollution. There is no such thing as naturally occuring climate fluctuation. No sir! The world is doomed if we don't immediately sacrifice everything we have developed as a civilization to deal with this crisis right now. (Nothing fundamentalists and fanatics love more than promoting sacrifice....especially when it is someone else doing the sacrificing...keep those grants and donations coming in folks.)

Well, I for one will not be donning a hair shirt, shaving my head or flagellating myself with a whip to atone for the sin of enjoying modern conveniences. I will not turn down my thermostat and sit shivering in my living room in the middle of January nor will I lay naked on my bed sweating (don't visualize please) in mid July when the humidex is in the 40's. I have heat and air conditioning and I'm not afraid to use them. I definitely won't be exchanging my current incandescent light bulbs for those ridiculous curly fluorescent bulbs made in China. I didn't work this long and this hard to earn enough to live comfortably only to sit in my home, squinting in semi-darkness trying to see the words on a page in the book I'm reading. I want light! When I want it semi-dark, I'll light a candle and neck with my wife.

As a result of all of this, I am developing an increasing dislike for the environmental movement. It is hypocritical, poorly informed, self-righteous, intellectually lazy and arrogant. With the exception of a few capitalist opportunists, it is more religion than most religions and most environmentalists, like most religious extremists, only accept the facts that support their faith while rejecting any that might tend to disprove it. Accuracy of the facts they embrace is not a determining factor. They need to believe and nothing will easily deter them from that belief. The fact that an increasing amount of the science behind climate change appears to be junk science doesn't deter them from the mission at all.

We have real issues facing us but climate change isn't one of them nor is going green going to address any of them. (There is a real arrogance in believing that humanity could actually control climate...the recent hurricanes should have shown us the futility of even considering that) I am tired of recycling, refuse to compost and think the entire idea of being charged by retailers for a bag to carry the stuff I purchased from them is patently offensive. (It didn't take those guys long to see the benefit of going green. Now they can charge for what they used to give away. Strange how being green, like government initiatives, always ends up costing you and I more money.)

I'm tired of the whole thing. Screw being green. Screw recycling, composting, reusing, sharing, and sacrificing for the greater good. Screw not being given a free plastic bag to carry home the stuff I just bought at the store and screw being lectured by people too lazy to think beyond the last bumper sticker they read.

Instead of trying to cleanse the world of modern conveniences in the name of saving the planet, let's do something constructive. Let's drive over to Tim Horton's (Starbucks if you are more trendy than I am or Dunkin Donuts if you live in The States - I can be flexible) and  protest and harass the number of environmentalists sitting in the drive thru lane with their cars idling waiting for their coffee. How long do you think it will be  before they convince the coffee and donut shops to charge for paper cups in an attempt to get us all to carry reusable mugs around with us? You're right...not long at all. We have to save those trees, after all.

© 2011 Maggie's Bear
all rights reserved

A Scot and A Bear Try To Explain Government Debt - I said 'try'

A very long time ago, my Uncle Jack  and I got into a heated debate about government borrowing. He was an assistant deputy minister of finance in the federal government and he was adamant that I didn't understand that it was quite harmless for the government to borrow money because essentially, we were borrowing from ourselves. Apparently it wasn't ok or else borrowing from ourselves evolved into borrowing from others and now most of the world is in hock up to its eyeballs....and stupidly, we seem to be in debt to many of the same countries to who we either lend or provide foreign aid.

How in the hell does that work? How do governments who borrow money from others also end up being lenders to them? It seems to make sense to someone out there because almost all major governments including the US, Canada and most of Europe are in debt...mostly to each other and the mountain of debt service is about to cripple the global economy. Increasingly many are in debt to  China, probably to get enough money to loan to other countries.

Delightful!

Politicians, of course, take no responsibility for any of this convoluted mess. They blame previous governments or they blame you and I. It's our fault because we demand too many social programs. But, I don't actually remember demanding anything (other than to be  left alone). I do remember countless, visionless and faceless politicians from democracies all over the world promising all kinds of things in order to get elected. They also promised good government but that's another story.

Typically, politicians make promises to get elected and then borrow money to deliver on some of those promises. They don't regulate major financial institutions and the high-flyers who misuse the capitalist system to sate their own greed  and when it implodes, they blame you and I, the great unwashed.

To be honest, I do believe that to some extent, it is our fault. We bought the fantasy, after all. We fell for the honey-words and let them bribe us with our own money and money they borrowed. Like over-indulgent parents , we gave them a huge credit card and like arrogant and spoiled children they spent money we didn't have to buy things we didn't need. The result? Mom and dad had to bail the kid out either through increased taxes or the reduction of the very services purchased with the borrowed money. It's sort of like borrowing to buy new golf clubs but having to turn in your membership at the club because you can't afford to play anymore.

Unfortunately, countries can't flush their debt with a simple bankruptcy and we're not allowed to spank them. Countries can default and have in the past but today we're more connected financially than most of the 400+ million people connected to each other on Facebook. If one country goes down, the entire house of cards collapses taking the world economy down with it. Fortunately the governments of the G20 are on the case. Don't be concerned that these are the same governments that got us into this mess.

Some blame the left's tax and spend agenda while others blame the right for mismanagement. What a pointless argument! They are the same when it comes to borrowing and it doesn't matter whether you support the left or the right, the borrowing continues and believing that one party or the other will change that is lunacy.

In my adult lifetime, a series of conservative and Liberal governments have run the national debt in Canada from $17 billion to half a trillion. It may not sound like much compared to the $15 trillion debt in the United States built by both Republicans and Democrats but Canada is a nation of only 35 million people and that national debt doesn't include another half trillion in provincial and local government debt.

It is the same in democracies around the world. The orgy of borrowing continues and government debt is spiraling out of control. The United States, Canada, Ireland, Spain, Itally and, of course, Greece the poster nation for where it all leads, continue to borrow as if they never have to pay it back.

As the people of Greece are discovering................you do! 

I keep hoping that a politician will show up who a) can think beyond the next election b) is a true leader and will show leadership and c) tells the truth from the beginning and not only when there is no other alternative. I also hope that we will put aside our differences and our entitlement greed to listen if that  person ever does  emerge.

It's a vain hope I admit but in that regard, I'm like our dog, Jasper, who still follows me around hoping that food will suddenly fall out of my pocket. Sometimes, hope is all you have, especially when your fate and that of so many others is in the hands of people who's logic it is not only convoluted but downright dangerous to our success as nations.

Politicians of all parties, both the right and the left, like to think of it as pubic service. I think they should think again before they create a world economy that will make the depression look like a minor inconvenience,

RELATED

Obama's Revenue Soup
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203918304577241513296604128.html?mod=wsj_share_tweet

The Drummond Report - The Liberal Gravy Train Exposed As An Economic Train Wreck
http://bearsrant.blogspot.ca/2012/02/drummond-report-dalton-mcguiintys.html

Government Takes Over Where The Mob Left Off
http://bearsrant.blogspot.ca/2012/03/government-vs-mob.html

The Teddy Awards - For Outstanding Achievement In Government Waste
http://bearsrant.blogspot.ca/2012/03/for-outstanding-achievement-in.html

© 2011 Maggie's Bear
all rights reserved

And so it begins

Despite the best efforts of technology and the collective gene pool that runs Web 2.0, I have finally managed to set up a blog. I know what you're thinking (I confess that it is a bit presumptuous to think that anyone is reading this and if anyone is reading it, that what I have written might be causing them to think... but hey, it's my blog and I can believe what I want!). You're thinking that setting up a blog is easy. You did it after all, so what's the big deal?

Well, it was a big deal for me.

I tried setting up my blog through WebPress but couldn't navigate the design templates. I attempted setting it up directly through Google but when I tried to register for a blog, Google kept kicking me out because my age didn't meet FCC regulations. Now, I'm 63 (although my daughter's assure me I don't look a day over 62) and if Google's crack software can't read a birth date properly, you have to wonder what else it can't do well. I finally got set up here after three days of effort and while I am not completely happy with the look of the thing, it will do for now. I have other issues to get off my chest.

The most difficult thing about having a blog isn't finding things to talk about, it's getting control of the overwhelming number of things swirling around in your head that you do want to talk about. There is so much that is worth a good rant, it's like being a fat kid locked in a Hershey's Chocolate factory overnight. You could overdose on it all.

For me it comes down to categories and the categories I will be talking about in this blog are: politics, the impact of change, social issues, political correctness, activism and one of my favourites....stupid people. There are over six billion people on the planet and more than half of them seem to be sharing one IQ. I also have a miscellaneous category because I'm too lazy to categorize some of the other things I'll probably rant about but more on them another day.

I intend to try and write something every day although I'm not very disciplined and am easily distracted by just about anything, especially my dog Jasper, who spends a great deal of his day following me about in the off-chance food will magically fall out of my pocket. I'm not sure where he got that idea because food has never fallen out of my pocket but it seems to be his fantasy and what is a life without a little fantasy in it?

So there you have it. The first official first post of A Bear's Rant. Oh boy, just what the world needed...another blog. Hold the applause until you really mean it.


© 2011 Maggie's Bear
all rights reserved